Five things i have learnt from my Mama's 60th

Family functions have always been events that I have cherished and loved to participate. The congregation of so many people at one place is by itself a rarity these days, given our fast pace of life. Coupled with serene village atmosphere, where these functions are usually held, you get a carnival with ever lasting memories.

I was fortunate enough to be a part of my MAMA’s [uncle’s] 60th birthday celebrations last week. I observed/ realized a few things which were compelling enough to pen down.

1. Late night work is a good way to bond

Family events are synonymous with work. There is always a mountain of it and the more you think you have completed the more seems remaining. But when done in the right atmosphere, work can be conquered. I found this out during continuous late night ‘shifts’ I had with my cousins. Dwelling over the past or sharing the present was such a great experience. Catching someone whose eyelids just can’t keep open was equally fun.
[To all those naughty ones who were smirking after seeing the first point, put a leash on your thoughts. What were you thinking? ]

2. Make your presence felt

Be everywhere. Do everything. Don’t say NO. NO is taboo in public functions. Learn it if you don’t know it already. Or at least fake it! Move around, raise some eyebrows if you have to and run some errands for that distant relative of yours. (Whom you will be meeting for the first and the last time) Make sure the overall effect is one which raises your profile.

3. Be prepared to cope with totally unanticipated scenarios

Be it when asked to do some urgent work when nature’s call becomes more than just a request (!)or when someone catches hold of you and narrates a long winding story of your antics, be prepared. Have a smile on your face. Reciprocate the warmth and you will soon realize that the chance meeting is actually mutually beneficial.

4. Take advice in the stride

Advice, like alcohol in a beer fest, will be free flowing. The usual ones will be “Get married early”, “Focus on your career”, “Why don’t you consider part time studies in lieu of a full time one?” What else do you expect when you are surrounded by people twice your age and ten times your wisdom? Take it your stride. Put across your points and have a healthy discussion. After all, learning from other’s experience is smarter isn’t?

5. Education's importance is finally being realized

My mama had, for the sake of convenience, outsourced the cooking department to a well known chef. The usually busy chef happened to be a little free on one of the nights and we had a chance to interact with him freely. He was gloating with joy on how his daughter had got a good score in grade 12 examinations and how she has proceeded to pursue her engineering. He had specific details of her ‘cut-off’ and how she might manage to eke into this college and probably not into another, which just goes to show how involved he has been in the entire process. All this for a man who might have barely cleared grade 10(sorry Mr Chef if I have underestimated your academic qualifications). The news was all the more sweeter as he was willing to support his girl child to the hilt which normally would not happen in a rural setting.

Do you fear excellence?

Hi All,

I am coming back to this space after a long time. I had some hurdles to cross and they required my undivided attention, hence the prolonged absence. While overcoming the above obstacles, I experienced a certain strange feeling which I thought I should share with everyone.

I fear excellence. I fear perfectness. Let me get myself clear here, I don't fear PEOPLE who are brilliant or near to perfect. I fear perfectness as a virtue. While surmounting the obstacles, something in me was telling not to go for perfectness. It’s not achievable. Or worse still, it’s a sacred cow which was not to be slaughtered. It’s better left untouched.

This feeling could have stemmed from the fact that I am more pessimistic than I am optimistic. But I have reasons to feel that this might not be the only reason for the peculiar sentiment which I was undergoing. I have always wanted to be among the top. I have always wished to be showered with laurels. But at the same time, I have also dreaded the academic limelight. At those times I did not know what was making me feel in such a way.

But now I have understood it. I am frightened by excellence. I am not sure if this is restricted to academics or extends to other spheres of life as well. I am equally confused as to whether this might be as bad as it looks or could actually be a blessing in disguise as excellence, which I consider to be an unachievable virtue, keeps pushing me further and further.

So what are your thought on this? How do view excellence and how do you deal with it?